May I introduce you too...

This awesome magazine

Practical Poultry has become the must-read magazine for the domestic poultry enthusiast. Each issue is packed with an exciting feature mix offering readers essential help and assistance on the broadest possible range of practical subjects. So, whether you’re looking for advice about buying birds, what’s best to feed or simply inspiration from other keepers, then you need look no further!

Launched in 2004, the magazine quickly established itself as the market leader. It’s the only publication of its sort dedicated to this fascinating hobby and, as you would expect, is written and produced by an unrivalled group of poultry experts and publishing professionals, all dedicated to providing a practical, easy-to-understand magazine of the highest quality.

Keeping things local and chicken-like, Tobias

Oh Galileo, why did you have to discover moons?

ASTROPHYSICS RELATED MEME TIME

Have fun with your lab reports!
Tobias

Relativity

Our latest escapade takes us into the mind of a great physicist Albert Einstein, who's theories involve moving very fast.

What isn't commonly known is the fact that he didn't just theorise, he built a near light speed car to confirm results from his famous equations of special relativity. He wasn't discovered in this way as he was moving quite quickly.

We discovered this fact by building a faster than light speed car, using a regular microwave and a conservative manifesto. The car (which we have no idea how it managed to travel at the speed of light, perhaps to flee the budget cuts? #politicalhumour) destroyed the fabric of space-time, creating a wormhole and landing us in Einstein's living room in the 1930's.

We walked into his garage as he was polishing his new wheels. We put our car into a lower power mode and followed him. He happens to come across a traffic light. He observes it to be green, however it was red. This is due to a relativistic Doppler shift caused by the relative motion of Einstein and the light. German police saw right through his excuse and issued him a speeding ticket, and HPM an incorrect time existence tax. Luckily, due to inflation over the past 80 years it only cost us £0.20, so no harm done.

As we were being interviewed, we had a chance of talking to Einstein. As none of us speak German there were a few issues, but he is a delightful gentleman.

We embrace his theories and accept his results in our every day use. Not many of us realise we can take advantage of his findings and produce something very useful, as shown below.

This technique commonly used by Chuck Norris' Fist. And Phil Lightfoot.

This does not follow experimental evidence however, as it would require an infinitely large frictionless surface to test on (Physics ALWAYS has this issue however.

That's all for now, expect updates more frequently!

Solving the little questions, Tobias (Toblerone, Trollbias, Gout-Related-Pun, The crutched one)

*blows off dust*

Hey there People!
It's been so long since i put up a blog post on here. This is just a short one:
HPM is not dead! It's sleeping (a la Monty Python)
It's high time we posted some new stuff up here. And we will!
in due course
So, for now let me share with you:

A physicist, a biologist and a mathematician are sat outside a cafe, they look at  house
They see one person walk into the house, and a few minutes later 2 people walk out.
The physicist states "the initial conditions were not known"
The Biologist claims "They have reproduced!"
The mathematician: "Hang on, if exactly one more person enters the house it will be completely empty!!!"

Till next time, check out twitter for live updates @trollbias
peace out, homies.

New Poll!

I fear our humble blog in the dark corner of the internet has lost some of it's physics degree sparkle
As a result, I have put up a new Physics-degree-related-poll.
Good luck to all of you lovely people on our exams!
Pro tip: Leave this website, gain marks on exams.

Good afternoon gentlemen and ladies!
As at least 1 person who checks this blog will know, we haven't posted anything in ages (since Christmas)
This is due to the fact that we have suddenly realised we go to university to do physics, and so we now have no free time due to revision!
Cursed magnets! I am astounded and perplexed as to how they doth function.
Look forward to the new year:

• We intend to conquer Earth
• We will find out how magnets work
• We may see some pretty cool stuff through a telescope
• I start my own adventure, trying to find my lost marbles. Has anyone seen them?
• Some new features may come about, as we have a lack of content at the moment!

So, do not despair! We haven't forgotten about you, fan(s)! We just need a short break to revise!

HpM's R&D department

And of course, more corny, corny jokes!!!! HURRAY!

How many astrophysicists does it take to screw in a light bulb? There are 4 answers to this question

1. It takes 2. One to put it in, one to measure the redshift!
2. 10. One to put it in, 9 to argue about how their own bulb has the better colour!
3. None, They will just use a type 1a supernovae as a "standard candle"!
4. None, They aren't afraid of the dark!

Ha ha ha! Okay.
Until next time, this is Tobias, signing off!
Transformers! ROLL OUT!

The physics of Santa Claus

Ho ho homogeneous second order differential equation to all!
My thoughts last night were on the big red one himself. Think of all of those billions of people he has to give presents to, all the cookies and sherry he gets through in an evening... Lets have a look at some numbers here folks.
If he flew over every house, of which there are at least 1,000,000,000 (That's a billion), and there is a distance of about 30 metres between each house (on average) that means he travels a distance of 30,000,000,000m in the evening (the same distance light travels in about 100 seconds).
As he visits all of the time zones, he has 24 hours to complete his route. The speed of the sleigh can be derived from this information: 1250000km/s (Ignoring relativistic effects, which we shouldn't as this speed is 0.417c. Hey, It's Christmas).
This speed is hard to obtain in Earth's Atmosphere. However, as Santa can make any present, and I asked for a super-powerful magnet for Christmas and did not get one, it is safe to say he stole it and his sleigh is powered by magnets.
As for the vast quantity of food and drink, He is clearly American enough to eat all of the cookies, and Yorkshire enough to hold his tipple (no, I am NOT Santa).

Here's a holiday problem you can solve yourselves! The first answer submitted by a reader (authors not included) will win a box of Leibniz Biscuits! more chocolate than a biscuit!

Solve the differential equation:
dy =  (2y)                   (the denominator is 2 squared add 4!!!)
dx     (x^2)

 Submit answers to henryspermetre@gmail.com. Include your name and your favourite colour (For the lols)!!!


Here's a cracker style joke for you all to share!Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip?
To get to the same side!
......


Now, I bid thee Happy Holidays. Fare thee well,
Tobleronicus